Trick-or-Treaters My Mom Can’t Stand

My mom, Wheezy,  has always been a stickler for manners.  You could probably say the same for most teachers, past or present.  When it comes to Halloween, she’s got some strong ideas about what is NOT acceptable on Beggars’ Night.  Here are just a few:

SCREAMERS! Do not force your sobbing child to ring doorbells. Trick or Treat is supposed to be fun. Call it a night and take your crying kid home. Take pride in the fact that you are raising a child who hates going up to unfamiliar homes and asking strangers for candy! That’s something we hope our kids DON’T DO the other 364 days a year.

THUGS! If you’ve been causing trouble in the neighborhood keep your behind at home. You play tricks? YOU GET NO TREATS!

2 TIMERS! Teach your kids that its rude to double back around the neighbood for seconds!

GRANDPAS! Do you know the difference between a trick-or-treater and a solicitor? A voter registration card! If you are old enough to vote on Tuesday, then you are old enough to buy your own dang candy! No solicitors!

PROSTITOTS! Just because they make a sexy nurse costume in your child’s size doesn’t mean you have to buy it! Parents, please say, “NO WAY” to the dirty Dorothy of Oz costumes. Refuse to pay your hard-earned money to turn your daughter into the street-walker version of Strawberry shortcake!

That adorable or kooky costume can pay off for the whole family!  Send your Halloween pictures to the Matt and Ramona Kids Costume Contest at